I injected some pain
into my heart
and lived my life accordingly
 
I didn’t want anyone to feel for me
or to even try to like me
 
what could they find to like
that I hadn’t already found
and used
and wasted
 
what could they find to like
that I hadn’t already discovered
and abandoned
 
in a senseless, shameless night
of nothingness
and self-pity
 
I didn’t know
but then...
maybe that was the point
 
I just didn’t know